Am I moving or am I standing still? What is my core value and am I doing anything about it? Questions that make me stop dead in my tracks.
Man am I lucky to have such creative and giving friends in my life. In honor of tonight’s Lunar Eclipse I would like call-out a couple of friends who have given me the confidence to express myself a bit more this past year… simply by being themselves doing their own thing: Harris (Mr. Down 2 Earth who always makes me look up), Yutack (who turns life into a scavenger hunt… with his own remix), Nicole (brewing ideas in her basement non-stop, no matter what others believe), Wonravee (the forever patient and inward, seeing the beauty in the simplest things).
I had dinner tonight with Nicole who is constantly creating things. Since she was a child and started her own detective agency (her first and only assignment being to find the missing snowman) she keeps thinking of new ideas and then puts them out into the world. “You have to give the universe stuff to grab onto” she said. “And you can’t take failure personally.”
I also just watched a preso Harris made and it made me reflect a bit, specifically I feel like I’m getting too comfortable with where I’m at when I want to move like him. He had some really good points that made me think a lot from catching up not being enough to how the skill of a business person is communication (and execution of almost anything for anyone else).
I recently heard in situations like what he spoke of that first people ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win. I haven’t even been ignored yet.
Jo March: I find it poor logic to say that because women are good, women should vote. Men do not vote because they are good; they vote because they are male, and women should vote, not because we are angels and men are animals, but because we are human beings and citizens of this country.
Mr. Mayer: You should have been a lawyer, Miss March.
Jo March: I should have been a great many things, Mr. Mayer.
Jo: Late at night my mind would come alive with voices and stories and friends as dear to me as any in the real world. I gave myself up to it, longing for transformation.
Jo: [as Jo and Laurie dance awkwardly at Belle Gardner’s ball] I’m sorry! Meg always makes me take the gentleman’s part at home! It’s a shame you don’t know the lady’s part!
Beth: If God wants me with Him, there is none who will stop Him. I don’t mind. I was never like the rest of you… making plans about the great things I’d do. I never saw myself as anything much. Not a great writer like you.
Jo: Beth, I’m not a great writer.
Beth: But you will be. Oh, Jo, I’ve missed you so. Why does everyone want to go away? I love being home. But I don’t like being left behind. Now I am the one going ahead. I am not afraid. I can be brave like you.
Lauryn and I went on our first road trip last this past week. I must say it has been so cool to see my best friend go from a shy bookish girl to a woman exploring her freedom and the wild.
Our first day in Big Sur Lauryn and I sat in the red wooden chairs up high on a hill overlooking the ocean. We read for a while then the sun started to go down and it got kinda windy. Lauryn went inside the yurt to take a nap under the covers and near the fire. I stayed outside a little longer to watch the ocean which I rarely ever get to witness. It was endless, beautiful in its mystery and depth and gave off a strength that let me know the sea was forever a woman. I stared at the waves imagining all that could live under the surface…
I heard the door to heaven is smaller than what we imagined. That many will be surprised when they arrive and find out they will not be able to fit through. The advice was then to make sure our egos, un-kind thoughts and selfish deeds fit into the smallest suitcase possible. We are only cheating ourselves.
After hanging out with a very kind / giving friend this weekend I realized how selfish I am (in comparison to my peers and in relation to the type of person I look up to). Giving parents, a strong tie to my culture / history and a handful of selfless friends can only help me out so much.
Since I believe one’s thoughts reveal one’s character and since I want to be in more control of my thoughts (before it’s too late) I did an interesting exercise I once learned in a Buddhist lesson. I wrote down (or you can record) every unkind thought I had today. I had way more than I imagined and had reoccurring themes:
1. Thinking I’m better than someone else (less shallow, better at something)
2. Judging someone I’ve never spoken to or met (and to a woman which is the worst)
3. Thinking how someone can help me in one way or another
4. Assuming I understand another individual and how they should live their life
5. Doing stuff for attention or fame
"Listen now. When people talk listen completely. Don’t be thinking what you’re going to say. Most people never listen. Nor do they observe. You should be able to go into a room and when you come out know everything that you saw there and not only that. If that room gave you any feeling you should know exactly what it was that gave you that feeling. Try that for practice. When you’re in town stand outside the theatre and see how the people differ in the way they get out of taxis or motor cars. There are a thousand ways to practice. And always think of other people."